Posts Tagged ‘self-esteem’

What are you covering up?




Have you or someone that you know ever used designer labels to cover up personal insecurities ( i.e. low self-esteem or fear or rejection)?







Do you or someone you know use food to hide your feelings about life, about yourself, or about your overall discontentment with life or your circumstances?



Please leave a comment. Share your feelings and thoughts about these postings.



Everything About You is Beautiful!

Dear Young Ladies and Young Men,

Sorry that I have not written to you for a while, but I was a little busy with school and work.

This week my blog is simple, I just want you to love yourselves just the way that you are……your authentic self.

These days it is hard to see a young lady who does not have hair extensions, eyelash extensions, nails, dental and breast implants, and a host of other plastic surgery.  These days it is rare to see a young man who is unashamed to show respect and honor to a young lady, to study hard in school, to work hard at any task that you are given, to keep your word when it is given, and to honor yourself by honoring righteous ways.  In our society, bad is considered good, but I am here to sound the alarm that bad is really bad and good is really good.

When God created you, he thought about what you would look like, how you would sound, how tall you would be, how your bones would fit together, and ultimately he had a future in mind for you that was and is awesome.  You were and are meant for greatness!  In order to achieve greatness you have to raise your self-esteem and be confident in the person that you are.  If you are a young lady, you don’t need to wear weaves to be beautiful because you are naturally beautiful.  If you are a young man, you do not have to be a bad boy and chase and minimize young ladies to be a man.  Understand?   Be good, be kind, work hard, make a goal and work towards it, and most importantly NEVER be ashamed of being you.

YOU are enough!

Dear Young Ladies and Young Gentleman,

Today, I would like to share a quote that came to me today.  Here it is:

“When you know who you are, you will never allow anyone to tell you who you are not.”

Simply put, this quote means, when you understand that God has a unique purpose and design for your life in this world, you will NEVER allow anyone else to minimize who you are as a person and the contributions that you can and will make in the world.

Think about this quote for a minute.  Now repeat it a few times out loud.  By repeating it aloud, you are making a declaration over yourself and this will help you to embrace the idea over time, if you do not understand or believe the quote right now.

I want you to take out time this week to write down 3 things about you that YOU think make you special.  If you would like to share those 3 things here on the blog, then simply leave a comment under this posting. 

Remember that I love you and that I am ALWAYS praying for you!




You have to start somewhere!

Last week I received many emails and comments on the JWJ Facebook Fanpage from people who loved the blog called, “Do it Afraid!” Thanks so much for your readership and the dialogue, I think communication strengthens our world-wide community (big smile).

This week’s blog is based on a conversation I had with a friend. A friend called me and said the following, “I wish I could start a business, but I’m not like you.” Starting a business is not that difficult. Neither I nor the other thousands of people who started a business have the patent on this novel idea. Lol.

In order to start your own business you simply have to decide what kind of business you want to have, do research, speak to other small business owners, seek expert advise, make a plan, follow the plan (even if you are only taking baby steps). Last step, realize your goal. This week’s blog message is simply,

“You have to start somewhere!”

So what are you waiting for?

Leave a comment and tell me when you intend to start realizing your goal.

Keep Your Own Identity


Dear Young Ladies:

I hope that you are doing well and living or working toward your dreams.

The other day I spoke to a young lady.  I asked her if she would be interested in attending an event.  She was young, perhaps, eighteen years old.  I told her that I would love for her to attend an event for young girls.  She said, “I cannot because I have to see what my boyfriend wants to do first.”  I thought to myself, “What!!!”  In my head, I could not believe that a young lady was 1) putting her life on hold for a young man that is not even her husband or 2) she did not even consider her own feelings.  I don’t understand this kind of thinking.  A young lady needs to have/keep her OWN IDENTITY.  Right? 

I usually write these letters to you young ladies, but this time I really want to hear from you all on this one.  Is this normal these days?  Do you or someone you know put your life/her life on hold to please a boyfriend?  If so, why?  Let’s talk about this one (smiling).

As always, I love you all enough to share my experiences in hopes that your lives will be a little bit better and you will know that you are not alone in this maze called life.

Be a Leader and Not a Follower!


Dear Young Ladies:

My cousin, who just graduated from high school, suggested that I write a blog about peer pressure. Thanks Jovanna!

When I was in junior high and high school I remember that I had a friend who smoked.  She tried to influence me to smoke but I had asthma so that really was not a temptation for me.  Also, many friends wanted me to party with them but they were always getting into trouble.  I was raised as a Preacher’s Kid so I was not able to do things that other kids could do.  After a while, I had no desire to do what the other kids did.  If you are experiencing peer pressure my best advice would be to ALWAYS BE YOUR OWN PERSON.

Usually, friends or acquaintances who try to influence you to do bad things or things that you do not really want to do, those people usually do not know who they are. They may try to influence you to do things because they do not have the courage to do those things alone.

They feel that if you do it too they will feel better about their faulty decision.  I hope that you young ladies will be the leaders in your group of friends.  I hope that you spend your time doing positive things and allowing yourself to be influenced by positive people and things.  I know it is difficult for you but people will only respect you if you respect yourself and sometimes that means making decisions that other people do not like.

As always, remember that I love you and I am praying for you!

Sports Psychology


Dear Young Ladies,

I hope that life is treating you well.  I hope that you are learning how to navigate life with very little stress.  Speaking of stress a great way to maintain your health is to exercise.  When I was a young girl I loved to play sports and climb trees.  In high school I was the Softball Team Co-Captain.  I had asthma really badly so I could not run or do a lot of the things that I desired to do, but I always tried. I also love to play tennis but I find it difficult to find a tennis partner who will stick with the sport and our commitment to play.  I think my tennis partners do not last long because they are tired of being beaten miserably by me.  Lol!

In college, a relatively new major came out called “Sports Psychology.”  Many experts say that girls who are involved in sports do better in life because you will learn how to work as a team, how to believe in yourself, you will be less likely to feel depressed, and you are less likely to become involved in abusive relationships when you are old enough to date or marry.  In other words, sports are a great self-esteem builder, especially if you become actively involved in the sport of your choice.   I wanted to bring this idea to you because it could also be a career which would allow you to work with professional and non-professional athletes.  So how many of you are going to start adding sports to your lives?  Come on, let’s get going young ladies!!!

Read more about Sports Psychology below.


World Health Organization.  Girls Participation in Physical Activities And Sports: Benefits, Patterns, Influences, And Ways Forward. Retrieved May 31, 2010 from the web site:

Real Beauty Is………………………

Every morning I read a daily inspirations book.  On April 29, 2010 the quote for the day was, “Your outward appearance is never as important as your heart.  That’s what’s eternally significant.  ~ Lori Hansen”


Dear Young Ladies:

I hope that you all had a great week!  I thought of you when I read this quote.  I know that you are under a lot of pressure to be beautiful and perfect all of the time.  I want you to know that you are beautiful ALWAYS.

Here’s a list of what makes you beautiful:

  • When you smile at others.
  • When you speak to other young ladies when they enter a room instead of rolling your eyes and whispering.
  • When you befriend people simply for who they are and NOT for what they look like or for what they can do for you.
  • When you love yourself.  When you take time to treat yourself well.
  • The way you take care of your responsibilities.
  • The way you love family and friends.
  • The way you unselfishly help out around the house when no one asks you to.
  • The way you laugh and cry.

Do you see my point yet?  Your beauty comes from within.  Outer beauty fades, and outer beauty does not matter much when a person has a terrible personality.  Right?  Brand name or designer labels do not make you beautiful.  Clothes are meant to be worn they are NOT meant to wear you.  Confidence should be in your self-worth not the amount of debt you can accrue by wearing designer clothing, shoes, purses, etc.  To be beautiful is to know who you are from the inside out and not the outside in.

As always, I love you and I am praying for you.

You Are Lovable and Capable, Special, and Unique!

I was thinking about what to write today, I decided that I want this letter to address the self-esteem of my beautiful young ladies.  When I was a girl in the fourth grade there was an elderly African-American woman who would come to my class often to encourage the kids and tell us that we were VALUABLE.  I do not remember the older woman’s name, but I know that she had a great impact on my life.

She would ask the whole class to repeat after her and we would say, “I AM LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE, SPECIAL, AND UNIQUE!”

From the very first time I recited this line, I believed it.  Somewhere deep inside of me I felt like this woman had understood how I felt and at that very young age she gave me the vocabulary to speak my feelings.  Once I believed these words I was able to live my life in a way that said I do believe and care about myself.  I love me!

I want you young ladies to love YOU!!!  Take time to get to know yourselves, listen to yourselves and your intuitions (the voice that tells you what is right and wrong).  Please do not allow negative people or situations to destroy your future and  your destiny.  Many of you have lived through horrible situations but because you lived through them, God has a plan for you to tell your story of overcoming those issues to others.  Remember that I love you and that you are valuable.  You CAN and WILL  do great things!

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