Archive for October, 2013
When I was a young girl, I used to watch my Dad hold doors open for women, mow their lawns, give items from his garden to elderly women, etc. It was so wonderful to see how nicely my Dad treated women in general. He said, “It’s not that they cannot hold a door open for themselves, it’s just respectful to show them that you honor women.” My Dad also would not allow a woman to carry or move anything heavy in his presence.
So, my question to you this week is simple, do you show respect to girls and women? Are you careful not to be rude to girls or women with the tone of your voice and the words that you use? Do you call girls or women out of their names? Are you actions kind toward girls and women?
Being a gentleman really does go a long way despite the way our current society depicts women and the way some women depict themselves. Women are not objects to be used for your own pleasure, they are living, thinking, human beings who are capable of loving and enriching your lives…………if you treat them correctly.
As the youngest of 4 children and the third girl in my family “doing hair” was a weekly ritual in my home. My Mother was adamant that her girls would not go out of the house looking shabby so she spent about 10-20 hours a week doing my sisters and my hair. My Mother had such a green thumb when it came to growing hair, my hair was in the middle of my back by the time I was 4 years old.
As I approached the pre-teen age, I was obsessed with my hair. I begged my Mom to let me put a relaxer on my hair. She allowed me to relax my hair and most of my long hair fell out on the floor. I was devastated! As a young girl my hair was important and I wanted to look my best.
When high school arrived, I was on a mission to re-grow my hair. I got braids continuously and by the time I graduated from high school my hair was below my shoulders, but never as long as when my Mother used to do my hair.
During college, I noticed all of the girls getting weaves, but I was not crazy about the way the weaves looked. I refused to be caught wearing someone or something hair, especially if that meant that the texture of the weave was not the same as my own. I hated that look! I continued to wear braids.
After college, I got tired of braids and noticed that the braids had pulled and weakened the sides of my hairline. I was pretty much bald on each side (about an inch on each of the side areas of my head). I was hurt. Also, my hair would not grow too far beyond my shoulders. I made a decision! I decided try a weave. I did and it was so tight and uncomfortable that I took it out within a few weeks. Next, I had a bright idea to try to wigs. I really liked my wigs and wore them for years. In 2009, I needed to do a photo shoot and I installed the second weave of my life. Again, I could not handle the pain and the discomfort that I experienced while wearing a weave. In 2010, I told myself that I would no longer be a slave to my hair. I noticed that when I pressed my hair, I would spent up to 4 hours in a beauty salon waiting to get my hairstyle completed. When I got my hair braided, it took upwards of 8 to 10 hours for the smaller micro braids. I must admit that the wigs were the simplest for me as they allowed me to wear my own hair corn rolled under the wig. At any rate, my hair was taking too much of my time and I found myself constantly planning the next “big hairstyle.”
In 2011, I was a cast in a National Geographic Film called “The Witch Doctor Will See You Now.” This was a film about trying medicines that are grown in the Amazon Jungle. After living in the jungle for 10 days and having no need to look like a Diva, I realized that I had wasted so much time and money on my hair. I refused to waste any more time, so after returning from the Amazon I had my hair dreadlocked and my life has never seemed so easy. I spend much less time and money on my appearance and more time doing and being the person that God designed me to be.
I must admit that I have been on a real journey in regard to my hairstyles. I always felt like my hair represented how I was feeling in a particular moment or period of time. I used my hair as an accessory, which is why I would change it to fit the outfit that I wanted to wear.
I am writing this article because I would like to hear from the young ladies out there who wear weaves and wigs. Is your hairstyle an accessory or your self-identity? Do you still feel pretty when you are not wearing weave or wig hair? Why or why not?