Archive for August, 2012
For the past six (6) months I have been deeply pondering this question. I hear people throw the word “love” around a lot, but I question if they really know what it means. In truth, I question if I really know what it means. I often wonder does my knowledge of the word “love” predict my future behavior or is more required? After examining myself, I am still left wondering whether or not I really know the meaning of love. In truth, I have realized that I have a long way to go in order to be a successful lover.
I have noticed that when I have been betrayed, lied on, belittled, disrespected, or treated inconsiderately that “love” is not my first resort. In fact, like most people, I become angry and then I remove myself from the offending party’s life and treat them as if they never existed. Usually, I will offer the offending party the opportunity to come together and discuss the issues, but if the discussion fails, then I seem to easily remove myself from the offender’s life. I am learning that even though I may be justified in having certain emotions, if I truly believe myself to be a Christian or someone who is trying to live my life as the Bible outlines, I should have a good grasp of this concept and a clear understanding of the noun and verb tenses of the word called “love.”
As I continue my journey to understanding and practicing love, I wanted to pose a few questions to my reading audience to find out if anyone else has a problem with “truly loving” others.
Issues that threaten the practice of love:
Put yourself into these examples below and think about how you think you would feel and react. Determine for yourself if love is a primary force in your thoughts, your will, and your emotions.
- When I am in a dispute with someone do I quickly forgive her/him?
- When I find out that someone I love has lied to me, what do I do?
- If my child participates in a lifestyle that I do not approve of would I still love him/her and tell him/her so, even if I disapproved of their behavior? It is always possible to love a person, but oppose their behavior.
- If my parent or parents suddenly fell ill and were unable to work and care for themselves would I take care of them, even if that meant that I would not have to work a 9 to 5 job, plus move them into my home, and care for them?
- If I have a parent that abandoned me, abused me, or was never available to me, what would I do? If this same parent became terminally ill, would I care for him or her?
- If I walked in on a best friend, whom I have known all of your life, who was having an affair with my spouse or significant other, what would I do?
- If I had family members who constantly started fights with me, lied on me, and tried to destroy me. Then one day they fall on hard times and they call me for financial help or ask if they can move in with me until they get on their feet. What would I do?
- If I co-signed for a friend or relative to purchase a car, a personal loan, or a property. One day, I receive a notice that this person has not been making payments and he/she totally neglected to tell me that they would not be able to pay me when I was clear with his/her that I could not afford this if they were ever to default. What would I do?
For me, I am learning that I need to work on areas or circumstances in my life that could potentially cause me to stop being a loving person by nature. Wow! I know that this will take a lot of work on my part, but I am willing to take the journey……how about you?
If you see yourself in any of these examples, please leave a comment on the “TVI:JWJ Site” and let us know how you would deal with the situation and whether or not you would still be able to show love. Also, if you think that showing love in all situations is NOT necessary or possible, I want to hear from you too.
Do you have a friend or family member in your life that is so negative that you have learned never to tell them any of your dreams? Do you know someone who always has a negative word to say about your ideas or the way that you live your life? Have you ever wondered how you should handle his/her negativity?
I too have been faced with these same questions. I prayed, pondered, and toiled over the decision. Next, I stilled myself and listened for the answer of how to move beyond the negativity of these people who claimed to love me. I made the tough decision to leave their environment. For me that meant that I do not call them, I do not go out with them, I do not hang around them. If by chance, I see them, I will of course be friendly, but I made a choice NOT to share my life and my world with people who do not believe in the plans and visions that has God placed in my heart.
I wrote this blog to encourage you to leave negative situations. If you have the courage to leave negative situations, you will find that there are people who will support you and the visions that God has given to you. You can do it, pursue your passion and leave small thinkers and hinderers, and I assure you that you will be glad that you did!
Have you ever worried about or tried to cover up your past? Have you ever been embarrassed about being born to a poor family, having an incarcerated parent or spouse, having a physical or mental deformity, or been frustrated by your past failures?
If so, you are not alone. None of us control our entrance into this world. We did not decide when we would be made, when were born, or even we will die. On the other hand, we do decide how we choose to live the lives that we have been given. We have to ask ourselves, will we be relentless in the face of adversity or hardships? Will we continue to be kind and loving despite being treated in an unloving manner by others? These are examples of various journeys in life. In order to deter ourselves from the pain or difficulties of our past, we simply need to make new choices, even if those choices are scary.
I wrote this blog to remind my readers that the past should only be used as a learning tool. The past does not predict your future performance unless you allow it to. Difficult times may come in life, but go through those difficulties and do not stop to have a self-pity party.
You are destined for greatness and your destiny is waiting for your arrival. Do you hear it? Like the final boarding call for an airplane that is about to depart, “Last call for all of those headed toward destiny!” Do yourself a favor and get on board even though you may not know where the “Flight to Destiny” may land or how long you will be in the air, but I can assure you that you will eventually enjoy the journey.
Dear Young Ladies and Young Men,
Sorry that I have not written to you for a while, but I was a little busy with school and work.
This week my blog is simple, I just want you to love yourselves just the way that you are……your authentic self.
These days it is hard to see a young lady who does not have hair extensions, eyelash extensions, nails, dental and breast implants, and a host of other plastic surgery. These days it is rare to see a young man who is unashamed to show respect and honor to a young lady, to study hard in school, to work hard at any task that you are given, to keep your word when it is given, and to honor yourself by honoring righteous ways. In our society, bad is considered good, but I am here to sound the alarm that bad is really bad and good is really good.
When God created you, he thought about what you would look like, how you would sound, how tall you would be, how your bones would fit together, and ultimately he had a future in mind for you that was and is awesome. You were and are meant for greatness! In order to achieve greatness you have to raise your self-esteem and be confident in the person that you are. If you are a young lady, you don’t need to wear weaves to be beautiful because you are naturally beautiful. If you are a young man, you do not have to be a bad boy and chase and minimize young ladies to be a man. Understand? Be good, be kind, work hard, make a goal and work towards it, and most importantly NEVER be ashamed of being you.
Did you know that if you are taking birth control that you are putting fake hormones in your body? Did you know that the body does not recognize fake hormones? Did you know that the body does not know what to do with the fake hormones thus allowing these fake hormones to build up in your body? Did you know that cancers are on the rise for many women who have taken fake hormones (i.e. birth control, fake estrogen, and progesterone)?
If you would like more information on this topic, leave a comment and I will provide you with references where you can read more on this topic.