Archive for March, 2010
I just wanted to take a moment to thank the holistic and healthcare professionals that have helped improve my health. Skintuition is a wonderful beauty and holistic spa. She provides foot detox treatment which helps to rid the body of toxins from the internal organs. She provides colon hydro-therapy to remove old particles lodged in the colon. The other service that I love is her facial. She removes blackheads and other oils from the face. I love this place! If you live near or around the Los Angeles area, feel free to make an appointment and pay her a visit.
A few months ago, I was blessed to find a wonderful trainer. I told her that I seemed to be retaining water for no apparent reason. My trainer gave me a meal plan and said that I need to include grapes in my daily diet. I did follow the meal plan, but I thought that the grapes would not make a big difference because I always seem to retain water especially when I am stressed out. For ten days I followed her meal plan and ate 10 grapes and a small yogurt for my snack. In my first 10 days I lost 7 pounds. I am still ecstatic!!!
I was thinking about what to write today, I decided that I want this letter to address the self-esteem of my beautiful young ladies. When I was a girl in the fourth grade there was an elderly African-American woman who would come to my class often to encourage the kids and tell us that we were VALUABLE. I do not remember the older woman’s name, but I know that she had a great impact on my life.
She would ask the whole class to repeat after her and we would say, “I AM LOVEABLE AND CAPABLE, SPECIAL, AND UNIQUE!”
From the very first time I recited this line, I believed it. Somewhere deep inside of me I felt like this woman had understood how I felt and at that very young age she gave me the vocabulary to speak my feelings. Once I believed these words I was able to live my life in a way that said I do believe and care about myself. I love me!
I want you young ladies to love YOU!!! Take time to get to know yourselves, listen to yourselves and your intuitions (the voice that tells you what is right and wrong). Please do not allow negative people or situations to destroy your future and your destiny. Many of you have lived through horrible situations but because you lived through them, God has a plan for you to tell your story of overcoming those issues to others. Remember that I love you and that you are valuable. You CAN and WILL do great things!
I know that the title of today’s topic is not grammatically correct but it is a direct quote.
A few years back I was a Supervisor for an insurance company. I had a crew that worked under me of 10 people. Most of my crew members were women. These women did not like me for some reason. I treated my crew with respect but I was adamant that they would do a great job at work and present themselves and my unit as a professional unit. One of the women in my crew said that she would like to join me on breaks when I walked around the neighborhood. I said, “Sure, I would love the company!” One day while walking my crew member said, “You are so beautiful Ms. Judith, do have a man? I said, “No.” She then asked, “Do you have kids?” I said, “No.” We kept walking around the neighborhood that day but she was clearly perplexed. I could tell that she wanted to ask more questions, but she did not because I was her boss. The next day came around and it was time for our walk around the neighborhood. This time she said, “You know what Ms. Judith any love is alright.” I said, “I don’t understand, what do you mean by any love?” She said I mean if you are attracted to women. I laughed hysterically!!!
Every since I was a little girl I have always loved men better than women. I always hung around my Dad and Brother because I liked the way they were more emotionally stable than my sisters. One day my sisters’ would be willing to play with me and the next day they would be mean and tell me to buzz off, so at an early age I decided that I would always have more men in my life than women. Anyway, I told my crew member that I do not like men I LOVE them. I am a woman who is and who has always been attracted in every way to men. When I see a man that I find attractive, I have naughty thoughts just like other women, but the difference is I am making a conscious effort NOT to fulfill those desires because I believe that God is watching me and I do not want to displease Him. After I explained myself to my crew member, I asked her why she thought I liked women. She said that people in the office were talking about me and since I did not have a man or any children she figured I must not like men. She also said that she heard some of the other girls in my crew say, “Either she’s lying about not having sex before marriage or she don’t like men!”
I am here to say that I am not lying about being a virgin and I do love men. People are so funny, when you are able to do things that they cannot do or when you are able to do things that they do not understand how to do then they convince themselves that such a feat cannot be done. Well, I am proof that abstinence can be done because I am doing (or not doing) it. Lol!
Last weekend I went to a wonderful seminar called, “How To Balance Your Hormones Over 40 Years Old.” After sitting through the awesome seminar I realized that the seminar should have just been called “How To Balance Your Hormones.” The seminar was conducted by Dr. Shiva Lalezar of Brentwood, California. She has a wonderful office in the Brentwood area and I cannot wait to pay her a visit. She specializes in balancing the hormones of both men and women. She said that by keeping your hormones balanced you can lose weight and remove acne. She also mentioned that women, after having their babies, should find a holistic doctor to help them re-balance their hormones which could reduce post-partum depression. What impressed me the most is that she advised women NOT to take birth control pills as they are usually fake hormones that can throw the body off track and cause disease if taken for a long term period. She suggested that hormone balancing in men will help to improve their moods and treat depression. Also, balanced hormones in men, helps to protect them against heart disease. The final thoughts of the seminar were that balancing your hormones can keep you youthful and free of feelings of depression, anxiety, etc.
Anyone else willing to become balanced with me? If you have any interest in knowing more, please check out her website at:
Juable Foods is a blog designed to highlight my favorite foods. Nearly two years ago, I lost a significant amount of weight. Then, my Dad became gravely ill and passed away. The stress of this ordeal caused me to gain some weight back. Despite, these obstacles, I have made a commitment to myself to lose weight again and to eat foods that will compliment the medicines that I take for asthma. I have been on medicine for the majority of my life that causes me to gain weight so I am on a personal mission to become healthy in both mind and body. Sometimes I will be accurate with my food choices and sometimes I will not, but I intend to share my food experiences with you. Thanks for taking this food journey with me.
Recently, I obtained a wonderful trainer. She works me really hard and she provided a meal plan that is not too hard to follow because I am able to cook for myself and eat regular food. There is a product that I absolutely love! It is called Balsamic Vinegar of Modena and it’s made by Trader Joe’s. I put 2 tablespoons of Balsamic Vinegar and 1 tablespoon of extra virgin olive oil on all of my vegetables and it makes them taste so good. For me this is a big step because I never thought in a million years that I would give up eating ranch dressing on every salad that I would ever eat.
For those that do not know, I recently lost my Daddy. When I was a little girl my Daddy spent hours with me as he was disabled by sicknesses. He worked despite his sicknesses, but his conditions caused him to be able to spend quality time with me. My Daddy was a great example of what a “real man” should be. Many women today are always asking me, “Where are the real men?” I don’t have those answers as it appears that many men are simply “male” but they do not possess the attributes of a man. I am not writing this blog today to bash men but I am writing this blog to celebrate those of you who are MANLY and not just MALE.
I celebrate every man who:
- Loves and worships God.
- Cooks and cleans the house for his family to lighten the load on his wife.
- Works longs hours to support his family. Takes on additional jobs so that the family will not notice when hard times have hit.
- Is committed and faithful to his marriage vows if he is married.
- If he is not married is waiting and preparing for his wife, by protecting himself from sexually transmitted disease, sickness, addictions, working to keep his credit good, has his own housing and transportation, etc.
- Tells the truth to himself and to others around him no matter the cost.
- Makes and takes care of his children despite the sacrifice to himself. Takes care of his children despite if he is with the mother of his children or not.
- Protects his wife and family and considers them sacred as he would give his life for them if danger were present.
- Teaches his daughters that they are valuable and that they do not have to “accept” any kind of man but rather a quality man. Gives his daughters the confidence to know that they can do anything.
- Teaches his sons how to love, show emotion when needed, and how to respectfully treat the women in their lives. Teaches his sons how to make wise decisions.
- Honors and helps to care for his parents and grandparents.
- Selflessly does whatever (as long as it is legal) he needs to do to make his family’s life better.
- Brings honor to his job. Whatever he does, he does it well, and with great pride.
- Protects and helps to build his community.
- Works, works, and then works some more to provide for those that he is responsible for and for those he is not responsible for (I know that I put “work” as an attribute twice but I wanted to stress its importance).
For all of you wonderful men I CELEBRATE YOU, as you are much like the man that gave me life. For all of you men who are doing the right things, keep doing the right things and know that you are APPRECIATED.
When I hung out with friends I was approached by a man who said, “I know that you have a man, but I think that you are beautiful.” The unknown guy began a conversation with me and I told him that I did not have a man. A few minutes into the conversation I was asked the following questions:
1. Are you married? Have you ever been married? Do you want to be married?
2. Do you have any children?
3. Are you available later?
After I answered the guy’s questions, I asked him a few questions:
1. Are you married? Have you ever been married? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a woman in your life that loves you but maybe you don’t love her back? Do you have anyone else in your life male or female that thinks that they are in a relationship with you (if you all know like I know you need to ask deep probing questions and not just scratch the surface because there are men out there that will deceive you)? I am asking these questions in a joking way, but I am still watching and listening for his responses.
2. Do you have children? Do you support them financially (to me this questions is majorly important because any man who can leave behind and not support children would at any moment leave behind and not support me)?
Next, we are sitting there and in usual form I was making jokes and making him laugh. Before I knew it, the gentleman began to turn the conversation towards his desire to have sex with me. At that moment, the room went dark for me and the imaginary spotlight turned on me. I thought to myself, “He has no idea how ignorant he sounds right now!” First off, I don’t know him!!!! I hold an advanced degree in public health and you will never have sex with me without first being married to me and second without having a full blood work-up & examination by a doctor’s office. I hope that everyone understands that there is NO relationship worth dying for. African-American women, especially those living in Southern regions, have and are at the highest risk for HIV/AIDS, not to mention the rise in Herpes cases all across America. I hope that all women require this much of men but I know these days they do not.
My Daddy and brother used to talk when I was a young girl. They would laugh because they understood that men put women into CATEGORIES. Men think that some women are just for fun so they use them in that way because those women ALLOW themselves to be used. Men think that other women are for short-term commitments, while they (men) get their emotional and physical needs met. Lastly, there is another category of women who are for settling down with and raising a family. We always have to ask ourselves as women, which category we want to be in because in reality WE CHOOSE the type of woman we will be categorized as. Depending on how you represent, men will treat a woman accordingly.
So my question always becomes, since I present like a descent women, I am dressed cutely yet appropriately, I am educated, I have class in varying situations, and I am friendly when approached, then why do men treat me like I am in the fun category? I just have to ask because I am tired of disrespectful men approaching me like I am the “jump off” woman when I am indeed “a lady” and I expect to be treated as such. I think that maybe the men of today are so used to having many women to “play” with, that they do not understand when they have met a “woman”. So I believe, if a man does not know when he has met a woman, then he does not deserve to know or have a woman. Whenever I see a man fall into this category I jokingly use the song line from the TLC Hip Hop group of the 1990’s, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you are used to.” Needless to say, this chance meeting with this guy was going nowhere. I met him at a party, but why? Lol!
Let me know what you think and what your experiences have been.
Center for Disease Control (2010). HIV/AIDS Fact Sheet. Retrieved March 21, 2010 from the CDC website: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/aa/resources/factsheets/aa.htm